RiRi gets it

A drunk girl came up to me in a club last week and told me, yet again, that I look exactly, no, exACtly–Sarah! Come over here! Doesn’t she look exACtly like our Hannah? Sarah came over. Sarah agreed, gushingly. Oh my Gooooooood. That’s scary. As always, I was thinking about all the strangers in my life, who, over the years, have been kind enough to tell me exACtly how bland and easily confusable my face is. On occasion, it’s an attempted compliment or chat-up. But I’ve gone home with precisely none of the guys who’ve compared me to minor celebrities on already-outdated reality shows. This girl took the traditional route, swaying to Facebook and flicking through to what she apparently deemed the most flattering, (whether for me or Hannah was unclear), selfie. I tried to shrug humbly. ‘Wow, thanks. She’s pretty.’ Rihanna came on and the girl said that oh my God she loved this song and was off, singing.
………………………….Want you to MAKE. ME. FEEL –

Emily Barker is an English/Dutch writer and dog enthusiast. She recently graduated from the University of Birmingham’s English & Creative Writing programme, where she explored originality and tried to decide whether we should be bothered about its ever-waning attainability. She is currently putting together a poetry collection about her life-long obsession with fairies.